Day 1 - Departure

Well now, the day has finally come round and it's off to South Africa

I didn't sleep well last night and not from excitement or nerves as usual before a holiday. No this time it was purely my cold and blocked nose that kept me awake till past 1:30am having gone to bed at 10pm!.. Anyway I woke feeling not too bad. Got ready and "Tony" rang to say my car was waiting outside.. Apparently it was a Volvo Estate.. Oh dear.. hardly a Lincoln Towncar is it?.. But actually when I got down there it was a brand new fully loaded model and very nice inside.. I got in the back which is most unusual for me. I felt suitably "chauffeured" all the way to Terminal 3. What a joy. How the hell anyone would schlep all the way there on the tube is beyond me.

So I arrive at T3, walk straight to the Business check-in.. there is someone in front of me so I'm gestured towards First Class check in.. that's more like it!.. Sadly no cigar though.. First is full so no upgrade. I walk about 47 miles to the Emirates lounge and its lovely.. Empty.. fully loaded with everything from smoked Salmon, to Veuve Cliquot.. I have a parsnip soup, with olive bread, a raspberry smoothie and sit down thinking of Lisa at work who would be already going "I can't eat any of this crap".. J

A Singapore A380 rushes past and takes off before I can get my camera ready.. it was amazing.. so big.. We are called to board and its through a private air bridge straight into the First Class cabin.. Nice!.. not so nice to walk all the way through it though and into Business but hey ho. I am surprised at how big the Business cabin is. The seats are spaced SO far apart, you would have to be 7'8 to even touch the seat in front.

The TV screen is about 20" wide. First glass of champagne down while economy is boarding. Change into my trackies as there is no sleeper suit on Business.. I am also soon to learn NO AMENITY KIT on day flights.. what a fuckin liberty.. I expect an amenity kit in Economy, let alone Business.. NOT impressed. I feel a letter coming on . We are given socks and eye shades (big deal) and have a nice take-off. I managed to jam and break my ICE video system within 10 minutes and it has to be shut down and rebooted.. Oops.. I am also sitting next to a Beverley Leslie lookalike from Will & Grace who has all the sexual allure of an airlines salad and doesn't speak to me the entire flight..

The lunch service is gorgeous. I have smoked fish to start (mmm Lisa!!) and then Lamb, and then cheese & port... and then fruit.. so much for the diet. I watch that new film with Ricky Gervais. Its mildly amusing. Then watch "Get Smart" which is also quite funny.. Then it's time for more food... sandwiches, pastries, cappuccino. I then manage to break the ICE system half way through sending a text to Paul.. I give up.. We land..

Dubai Int airport has a new terminal which has just opened. Its chaos. If anyone every says a bad word about BA's T5 again I will personally slug them in the face. I find the Business Class lounge and its packed. Everyone is sleeping and using between 2 & 4 chairs each to achieve this.. Selfish cunts. I go and try and blag an upgrade but they want $1350.. no way.. not for 1 leg even if it is 9 hours. I then find the spa and have a 60 min facial and a 45 mins reflexology treatment back to back.. I am now sitting writing this, spaced out of my tits. Its 6:15am now here (2:15am) in the UK and I am starting to flag. I think this next flight will be a sleeper