Day 9 - Monday - Zimbali

By now i had lost all track of even what day it was.. I had a 50 minute massage and a 60 min facial and i was off my face relaxed..

The 2 bedroom suite we had was incredible. The food was also amazing. We drove to a huge shopping complex called Gateway but i wasn't really feeling well so ended up sleeping in the car while Cameron & Nigel shopped away.. Not much else to report. Had an early night so i would feel better the next day

Day 8 – Monday – Durban

Today we had to get up early - how rude. Our early breakfast was waiting for us and the owner of Les Cascades took us personally in his X5 to Cape Town Airport. We really didn't want to leave this hotel.

So check in for SOuth African Airways domestic flight to Durban. mmm not to hot on this lounge.. bit dated. Still the staff were friendly and i got seriously cruised by a hottie the other side of the internet stations. Shame our flight was called really.

SAA flight was ok.. Cam & Nige had the front row and i had 2C.. can't say SAA business class food is anything to write home about but.. oh i just have.. :)

Urgh.. Durban is hotter.. and humid.. After collecting our hire-hairdryer (sorry but we couldn't call it a car. A Hyndia 4x4!!.. please.. my electric toothbrush had more power), we headed off up the N2 to Zimballi

What a place. This is a 5* resort in lush tropical jungle. It was obscenely expensive and by comparisson to les Cascades, offensively so, but then it is part of the same group that own the Savoy so what did we expect. The service was faultless though. Butlers, waiters, bell boys, porters galore..

Day 7 - Sunday - Les Cascades

Today was a lazy day.. we woke late, fell into the pool, sun bathed, ate, drank more champagne. Oh and as if it wasn't perfect enough, the hostess brought us out home made mini tiramisus to eat in the pool.

I like South Africa. There is no health & safety bullshit. We can have glass by the pool, hell glass IN the pool - even alcohol and food IN the pool. Its nice to feel like a grown up for a change instead of the nanny-state shit we have to put up with at home.

We went out for dinner (for a change - NOT) and this time it was an amazing seafront place which did everything from Sushi to fusion. Our waiter was gorgeous too... as all the men seem to be here.. sigh..

Day 6 - Saturday - Les Cascades

Today we say farewell to Neil & Marc for a few days. Lord knows they need a rest from us and are off to see family in Durban. We join them in a couple of days.

The three stooges head back to Cape Town and this time we are staying at a hotel i found through the "Mr & Mrs Smith" website. Its called Les Cascades de Bantry Bay and it turns out to be the highlight of our stay so far. We didn't know that to begin with and their was a small drama (on my part) when we checked in and they gave MY Penthouse to Cameron & Nigel.. I mean HOW RUDE.. however, I'll get my own back on them later for that :)

For now, this is paradise found. A stunning boutique hotel built into the cliffs with stunning views of Cape Town, champagne on tap, and a very cute duty manager called Willie who i will not be elaborating on in this blog ;-)

The panoramic view from the hotel

The not so panoramic view of 3 alcoholics in the infinity pool

Day 5 - Friday - Stellenbosch

So as well as being visually stunning, this place also hosts some of the best vineyards in the country. So what else to do that get a guide and start a tour of the wineries . This means drinking wine from 9am. I think we are meant to spit it out in that big thing in the centre of the table that is NOT an ashtray..oops

So by 1pm when were all guttered, its time for lunch. This is also delicious but buggered if i can remember what it was. I almost fell asleep in my desert i was so wasted..

Our ever lovely hosts Marc & Neil flanking our adorable tour guide for the day, Judy

Day 5 - Friday - Head to Stellenbosch

Today we all drove about an hour out of Cape Town to a wine region called Stellenbosch. It was stunning.. Think "best parts of the highlands but with HEAT" and you'd be half way there.

We checked into our hotel. A rather ...er.. lets use the word "quaint" local place. Neil & Marc got a sweet room which was all littered with petals (ahhhh weddings huh..). Cameron & Nigel got the "studio" and i, of course got the Penthouse. This time though, it has to be said, for the first time in living history i actually asked for a downgrade!!. Yes it may have been called the penthouse but it kinda creeped me out. It was massive. Took up the whole top floor of one wing, had a 50' terrace, bedroom, 2 bathrooms, an office, kitchen.... sounds good so far?... it also felt like it hadn't had a guest in there since the last one perhaps died in it?.. There were still spectacles on the shelf, post it notes on the table, and a mouldy croissant in the cupboard. The others advised me to say something so i did and was promptly moved to a lovely room in the main old house :)

Day 4 – Thu – Cameron & Nigel arrive

The first thing i am aware of is Cameron screetching into my room to wake me up. Yes ok so their flight got in at 7am... I don't do getting up till double figures.. How rude waking me up..

They don't appear to need any sleep so we head off for Table Mountain. No one has told Cameron we are taking a cable car up to the top and he's afraid of heights. Oh how his face turns green as we launch up the mountain with a sheer drop below us :-)

Yes that little wire is what held the car containing 50 people!!

The views from up here are breathtaking

and then there are some that are a bit more...well..... cheap? common?..
Cameron never expected the Paparazzi to follow him to South Africa